


Like breathing underwater

by CharonKatharsis



Category: Koi Suru Bou-kun | The Tyrant Falls in Love
Genre: Alcohol, Blackmail, Don't copy to another site, Emotional Manipulation, Fix-It of Sorts, Homophobia, Isogai has a thing for Souichi, M/M, Rape/Non-con - Freeform, also my writing inspiration is very fickle, isogai/souichi endgame, mentions of - Freeform, only canon compliant up to a point, this is not intended as Morinaga-bashing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 20:41:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28534581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharonKatharsis/pseuds/CharonKatharsis
Summary: Isogai happens to ask just the right question to get answers nothing could have prepared him for.
Relationships: Isogai Taichirou/Tatsumi Souichi, Morinaga Tetsuhiro/Tatsumi Souichi
Comments: 5
Kudos: 24





	Like breathing underwater

Taichirou was still astonished that Souichi had agreed to meet him – just like that. He had sent him a text message and a few minutes later Souichi had confirmed. It somehow made him glad to know that Souichi had accepted his friendship, at least somehow. Because maybe there had been a tiny spark of truth in what Morinaga had accused him of: He had enjoyed Souichi’s company the last time they had met and for some reason it had made him proud that the ever so close-lipped Souichi had trusted him enough to talk to him about something that had bothered him. Something that, somehow, had bothered Isogai ever since. Maybe a bit more than it should have given how often he had him on his mind these days.

“Oi, Souichi!” It was hard to miss the air of grumpiness that seemed to be a constant feature of Souichi whenever he was out of his comfort zone – which appeared to be pretty much everywhere Isogai had met him so far except for his home. And he’d wager the man was most at home in his laboratory, hidden behind his experiments on whatever it was he was working on. 

“Isogai. I take it you had a good journey here?” To anyone not accustomed to Souichi it would have been brash to the point of rudeness, but he knew better than to take it personally. Souichi either did not care for proper etiquette or, and somehow Taichirou thought that more likely, he simply did not always notice he was breaching it.

“It was alright. It’s even better now that you are here.” Taichirou laughed and waved to the waitress who promptly returned with another bottle of beer. “Drink some and at least try not to look as if you are being held here at gunpoint.”

\--------

They should have taken it easy. Taichirou cursed himself as he was making sure both he and Souichi did reach his hotel room – at least he had chosen a bar just around the corner of his hotel and with Souichi being as drunk as he was, he wasn’t going to let him stagger home by himself. “Home, sweet home,” he invited Souichi in and marvelled at how complicated a single person could make getting out of their shoes look. “Think I have some glasses over there by the minibar... and some water.”

“Then get me some.” Souichi fell rather than sat onto the chair in front of the desk. Despite being drunk himself, Isogai shook his head with a fond smile. 

“I don’t think the chair will be too comfortable to sleep in.” Isogai grabbed two glasses and went to the sink to fill them. Then he brought them back, handing Souichi one. “Here you go.”

With a few gulps Souichi emptied it. “Some more alcohol might have been better.” He said dryly.

“I think you’ll thank me in the morning.” Quietly, Isogai turned to grab his spare pyjama, throwing it onto the bed. “We should also get you out of your clothes.” It had been an off-hand comment and yet he could feel the atmosphere change. And when he turned to Souichi, his hands still working on opening the buttons of his shirt, he noticed how much more alert he seemed all of a sudden. 

“Why?” Souichi asked and despite the way he glared at Isogai he seemed on the defence. 

“…because I think it will be a lot more comfortable not to sleep in your jeans?” Isogai shrugged his shirt off and nodded towards the pyjama on the bed. “I think we have about the same size so you can wear that – unless you’d rather sleep in just your briefs?” 

“I think I should go home.” It was a statement but not as firm as he would have expected of Souichi, of all people.

“Look, I just want to go to sleep and I don’t think you’re up for travelling to the other side of Tokyo drunk as you are.“ Rolling his eyes, Isogai opened his jeans and pulled them off, too. Out of the corner of his eyes he could see that Souichi pointedly did not look at him.

“…just sleep?”

Now it was Isogai’s turn to frown. “What else would we do? We could turn on the TV but to be frank, I feel a headache coming on so I’d rather not.”

\-------

He couldn’t sleep. It should have been easy enough: Souichi was keeping far away from him on his side of the bed. But Souichi, too, wasn’t sleeping, he could tell from the sound of his breathing. “…Souichi?”

“Hm?” There was the rustling of sheets and then silence again.

“May I ask you a question?” There were a few questions he had had for a while and since they both couldn’t sleep, he could as well try and get some answers. He waited, but Souichi kept silent. “You don’t actually hate gay people, do you?”

There was a short sound that could have passed as something like a laugh. “But I do.”

Taichirou scratched his head. It just didn’t make any sense. “Why? And how? I mean… no offense, but your brother is married to a man. You are in a relationship with a man.”

“It’s not like that.”

He obviously wasn’t talking about Tomoe and Mitsugu being married. “Look, you don’t have to pretend with me, Souichi. I know about you and Morinaga. I almost literally walked in on you two having sex.”

“He was…” It was barely a whisper.

“He was what?” 

“Nothing. Can we just… not?” Souichi sounded tired but not the kind of tiredness that came from needing sleep. Had he gone on the defence or attacked him, Taichirou would have dropped the subject but this was just too curious even for Souichi.

“I’m just trying to understand. You and Morinaga have this thing -whatever it is- where you have sex and everything, but you are not in a relationship?”

“He is the one who… and you know the rest.” The shame in Souichi’s voice was unmistakeable as was something else he couldn’t quite place. It was as if the room were not as static as it should have been, even though he could barely see anything in the darkness.

His thoughts were racing. He knew nothing except for the few morsels of their conversations. “Because… he is ‘blackmailing’ you?” It would somehow make sense in a twisted way, but he couldn’t quite figure out what kind of way that would be. From what he knew Morinaga was head over heels in love with his senpai and Souichi probably could only allow himself to even consider anything remotely gay as long as he had a way of pretending it was something else.

“Pathetic, I know.” There was the slightest tremor in his voice and Taichirou wasn’t sure he was prepared for Souichi crying in his presence. 

“Hey, I’m not judging you for whoever you love.”

“I don’t love him.” It was like a horrifying secret that Souichi had confessed to himself. “I don’t love Morinaga. Not... not like that.” 

If Taichirou felt like falling right now he did not want to know how Souichi was feeling. “What?” He muttered.

“He is... he saved me.” The pleading tone only made the horridness of the situation grow. “Without him... I couldn’t have stopped that man.” Souichi was rambling and Taichirou was sure he wasn’t even aware of what he was saying as he was trying to convince him of... understanding? “I can still feel his fingers on me sometimes. If it hadn’t been for Morinaga...” It took only a quiet sob and Taichirou had never felt as sober. “I trusted him. He is the only one I have... I beg you. Don’t.... don’t tell anyone.”

“Souichi...”

“You must promise me.”

“Souichi, please.”

“You can never tell anyone, promise.”

Isogai shook his head despite knowing fully well there was no way Souichi could see it. He felt sick as the pieces fell into place. Sick and frozen to the spot. This should have been the part where he offered... anything, really. But he couldn’t, instead sitting like paralyzed until well after Souichi had stopped crying.

\---------+

He was alone when he woke up the next morning and for a blissful moment, he tried to convince himself it had been a bad dream. There had been a lot of alcohol the night before. A lot and yet not enough.

Of course, he couldn’t have just kept his mouth shut. Had they just gone to sleep...

...it would still have been the truth, simply not known to him. Had he really been so blind? Because thinking back it was kind of obvious that something was amiss.

Despite Tomoe and Mitsugu being happy in their relationship, Souichi had always been set on ‘saving’ his little brother. Because, as he kept saying, he saw all gay people as a menace – except that he never said a bad word against his brother in this respect and remained close friends with Morinaga, knowing fully well he was gay. 

And when he himself had jokingly blackmailed him into spending time together his behaviour in the hotel had been so on edge up until they started singing karaoke. Had he had any clue, he would never have forced him like this... had Souichi assumed he would...? 

He knew the answer to that one, no matter how much he wished he didn’t.

\-------------

Souichi had blocked him. There was no other explanation for the fact that when he called him, the line was busy the whole time. 

\-------------

“Hey there, Isogai!” Kanako greeted him. “It’s been a long time, how are you?”

“Oh, I’m fine. I hope you have been well, too? Probably busy with school?” He looked outside, watching the busy street below from yet another hotel room. 

She sighed. “It won’t be too long until my final exams, so I’m working hard.”

“With your determination, I don’t see how it could go wrong.” In that respect she was just like her brothers: Smart and determined. And ever so serious.

“Say, Isogai... did you and Souichi have an argument?”

Now it was his time to sigh. “That’s one way to say it. Let me guess... he asked you to block me as well?”

Kanako huffed. “He did, that thick-headed brother of mine. He really insisted on it, but I told him it is my phone and he finally backed off.” He could hear what was probably the sound of her flopping down on her bed. “You didn’t pick on him again, did you?” 

“Not at all. We met last week and there may have been...” It would not do well to make Kanako worry, so he rephrased what he wanted to say. “Well, I may have said something that I really shouldn’t have. I was hoping for a chance to apologise but as you can guess...”

“He blocked you because at the slightest sign of trouble he folds. “ Despite her exasperation it was clear she had accepted that as who Souichi was. “I’ll make sure you can apologise but promise me you won’t get him that angry again.”

“...may I offer you that I try my very best not to?” 

There were a few moments of silence as she considered his proposal and then she answered: “Alright. It can be hard with him sometimes, I know. But really, try not to.”

\---------

When he arrived at Matsuda’s house, he was hoping this would work out. He had never been nervous with Souichi before, never feared him but this right now... the prospect of having that talk – given Souichi would even talk to him – scared him. Ringing the bell, he steeled himself.

“Kanako, the door!” He could hear Souichi and it calmed him that he sounded as bossy as ever.

“I know, I know!” Kanako’s steps quickly reached the door and she opened and nodded. “Welcome, Isogai. Dinner’s ready. I’m heading out so you can talk it out alone.”

She let him in and quickly stepped outside, leaving him baffled but then he slipped out of his shoes and into the house. Kanako gave him a thumbs up and closed the door behind him.

“Kanako, who was it? The food is getting co-“ Souichi came around the corner and stopped dead in his tracks. “You’re not supposed to be here.”

“Did Kanako not tell you?” He cursed inwardly because it had been hard enough to figure out how he was to apologise, but if Souichi was caught by surprise it would only be harder.

“You should stay away from her. And me.” There it was again, that cold distance as if nothing had changed except for Taichirou everything had.

“I really thought she had spoken with you and convinced you to hear me out.” He muttered. “I’m sorry for intruding like that, I really am.”

“Then leave and stop intruding.” Souichi folded his arms in a clear sign of discomfort.

“Could we.... could we please talk?” He tried his best to show in his mien that he was being sincere. “Just... for a bit and then I promise I’ll get out of your hair.”

A tense nod. “We can eat since my sister obviously had better things to do than join me for dinner.”

\---------

Their dinner had mainly been in silence Taichirou wasn’t sure how to break. It could have been almost amicable had there not been this tension hanging in the room.

“You wanted to talk.” Souichi put down his chopsticks. 

“I really shouldn’t have cornered you like that.” He began and stopped himself from fiddling with the one chopstick he was still holding. “It wasn’t right, and I am sorry you felt like you had to tell me...”

Souichi sighed and looked to the window. “It cannot be helped.”

Taichirou wasn’t sure he only meant the fact that he had told him things he most likely would have wished to keep hidden forever. “And I wanted you to know that if you ever want to have someone to talk to... you can tell me anything, really. I know you probably don’t think of me the same, but I consider you a friend, Souichi.”

“I can tell you anything?” And there it was: The scathing sarcasm Souichi was so well-known for. “So, what exactly do you want to hear about? How my professor held me down and almost raped me? How my only friend drugged me and did not take no as an answer? How I let him because it was either that or losing him? Or that I keep leading him on because he really thinks I want to do it?” He was so calm about it as if none if it even pertained to him. “There is nothing to talk about. And I’d prefer to keep it that way.”

“You deserve better, Souichi.” How could he not see that? “You must know that you do...”


End file.
